Favorite Flavor Text

[Jace27]

Flavor text is something in magic that helps make the game fun. My friend gathered all of the cards that told the story of The Theriad in Theros. I keep some very bad cards in my trade binder just for their flavor text, and recently I started to wonder which card had my favorite flavor text. I checked through my cards, and after much contemplation, I chose Warleader's Helix. Deranged Assistant was an honorable mention because my brother found it hilarious . I was wondering what other magic players think of as their favorite flavor text. I hope to hear a few funny ones.

[WWolfe]

http://deckstats.net/forum/index.php/topic,1827.msg5264.html#msg5264

Old thread for the topic, curious to see if anyone's has changed. Mine has, I'll post it later.

[ep1cn00b]

After looking through some of the posts in the old thread I have chosen these 3 as I am not very familiar with all of the flavor texts new or old. The last one is one my friend told me about a while back and I think its pretty awesome

Reparations - "Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold"

Traumatize - "He was left with just enough memory to understand what he'd lost"

Akroma, Angel of Wrath - "Wrath is no vice when inflicted upon the deserving"

[Drunk Cynic]

It would be between ________ or Granny's Payback.

[RuthlessRut]

Primeval titan-"when nature calls, run."

Army of the damned-"sometimes death comes knocking  sometimes it tears down the walls."

Searing spear-"sometimes you die a glorious death with your         sword held high. Sometimes you're just target practice."

Goblin chieftain-"its time for the smash, smash song!"

Crackling doom-"do not fear the lightning. Fear the one it obeys."

Double cleave-"when in doubt, kill'em twice."

Lux cannon-"there are few problems that cant be solved by putting a whole in the world."

Violent ultimatum-"words are a waste of time, destruction is a language everyone understands."

Rakdos shred-freak-"if there were such a thing as a soul i think it would be behind the gallbladder but above the kidneys."

Tyrannize-"i can stan you where it hurts, or where you will feel absolutely nothing."

Knight of infamy-"your laws, like your bones, were made to be broken."

Goblin fireslinger-"a rock between your eyes hurts. A burning rock between your eyes ruins your whole day."

Flesh carver-"just a taste?"

Sentinel spider-"your first reaction may be to stand very still and hope she didn't see you. Trust me, she did."

[RuthlessRut]

Sry for my typo for tyrannize, stab* not stan

[WWolfe]

Archangel of Thune, "Even the wicked have nightmares."

Guttersnipe, "He wants to watch Ravnica burn, one soul at a time."

[jaceperry]

Mine is honestly Goblin sledder. "Here let's play 'sled' Here's how it works you're the sled.
It is a hilarious flavor text but most goblins do.

[G. Moto]

 I like silent observer cause it's funny and creepy too; it's not just a feeling-you are being watched.

[EBWonder]

Awe for the Guilds - When the guilds cooperate, the guildless celebrate their peaceful society. When the guilds clash, the guildless just try to keep out of the way. (AMEN!)

Vedalken Entrancer - Their denial reaches far into your future. (Sounds like Congress)

[zretrareo27]

Wake of Vultures Flavor text cracks me up for no apparent reason.

[zaszaable]

Coordinated Assault - It's hard to shout "Shields Up" with a javelin in your chest.

Akroan Hoplite - Fair fight? How could it be a fair fight? We're Akroans. They're not.

[Undying]

I really enjoy those of flipside cards.

Hermit of the Natterknolls: "He hates company..."
Lone Wolf of the Natterknolls: "...but he'll have you for lunch."

Lambholt Pacifist (no Flavour Text).
Lambholt Butcher :"True Peace can't be achieven until everyone else is dead."

Tormented Pariah: "Hey lads, the moon's rising. All the better to watch him beg for mercy."
Rampaging Werewolf: "Just look at him growling on all fours! What a pathetic--Uh-Oh"

Village Ironsmith: "Each night he abandons the trappings of civilization."
Ironfang: "Each morning he repairs the front door."

[sscrofani]

"Members of the order often played the Hymn on instruments made from their victim's bones" - Hymn to Tourach

[G. Moto]

That sounds like some serious music right there.