Zirda (Bad Artifacts Tribal) (EDH / Commander)

Playing all the bad Artifacts that profit from getting their activated abilities reduced. Want really bad carddraw like Tower of Fortunes ? No problem, now it costs only 6 Mana to draw 4! Wow it's still bad!
Do you want to do whatever Druidic Satchel wants to do? Well I don't know but it probably costs only 1 Mana now. You draw only bullshit? Try copy your opponents homework with Mirage Mirror since you don't have any playables on your own or just use your worhtless cards to whipe your own tears.

Maybe you also wonder about how your going to interact with your opponents. Well, unless you are goddamn lucky and hit a useful spell with Chaos Wand (contact me if you did, would be the first time ever) you might just not interact with anyone beside asking them to hand you a bottle of alcohol to drown your sadness.

You might also ask yourself the question "Well why do you say it's all bad artifacts, it's clearly not? You Play Rings of Brighthearth and Staff of Domination and well these are real cards!" But I would want you to think about how much faster your ugly, trashy and sad looking Toyota Prius that your Mom bought you just because she didn't want to drive your lazy ass to your FNMs that you lose anyway, when you lower it and attach this low budget spoiler to it just because you thought it would look cool, would be? Wow that was kinda detailed.

Back to topic:

If you get bored after 3 hours of doing nothing, you still can try to Planar Portal into Blightsteel Colossus and win. But you will probably just get a path to exile or swords to plowshares and keep doing nothing. But hey, at least now, your opponents will also try to take you out cause you showed them that you wanted to win.

If you want a more subtile way that makes your opponents feel even worse to lose to after a whole evening of playing against this pile of shit, you can still win with the Combo:

Play Basalt Monolith
Pray that no one will counter it
Pray that no one got a naturalize or a Krosan Grip or any of the other 100+ Anti-Artifact spells
Get Infinite Mana because you got Zirda in play and it reduces the cost of Basalt Monolith untap
Play Gobin Cannon
Pray that no one will counter it
Pay infinite Mana and kill everyone
Pray that they will want to play again with this deck, without getting killed after 5 Turns because you play infinite combos

That's it. Thanks.