{3}{B}, Exile a permanent you control with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark: Return a permanent card with a League of Dastardly Doom watermark from your graveyard to the battlefield.

This spell costs {1} less to cast for each electrical socket in a wall or floor you can see from your seat.

Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. Until end of turn, it gets +3/+0 and gains haste.

{1}{B}, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.

Baron Von Count enters the battlefield with a doom counter on "5."

Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.

When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)

As Blood Crypt enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

{4}, {T}: Move the CRANK! counter to your Contraption deck's next sprocket and crank any number of that sprocket's Contraptions.

{2}, Sacrifice Contraption Cannon: It deals damage to any target equal to the number of Contraptions you control.

Enchant creature

Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Trample

When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Choose another player. Look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, look at that player's hand and choose a card other than a basic land card from it. They discard that card.

Choose another player. Double Deal deals 3 damage to that player. At the beginning of the first upkeep in your next game with that player, Double Deal deals 3 damage to the player.

Eelectrocute deals 2 damage to any target.

You may cast Eelectrocute from your graveyard as long as you've rolled a 6 this turn. If you cast Eelectrocute this way and it would be put into your graveyard, exile it instead.

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.

{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.

{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.

When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

Battalion -- Whenever Garbage Elemental and at least two other creatures attack, target creature can't block this turn.

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 -- A card named Goblin Tutor

3 -- An enchantment

4 -- An artifact

5 -- A creature

6 -- An instant or sorcery

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.

{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.

When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

As Hangman enters the battlefield, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.

{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.

When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +2/+1 and has menace.

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches enchanted creature, that player loses 2 life.

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

Flying, first strike

{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Flying, first strike, trample

Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

Flying, first strike, trample, haste

This spell costs {3} less to cast for each card you've revealed this turn.

When Infernius Spawnington III, Esq. enters the battlefield, you may say "I'm here." If you do, it deals 3 damage to target player.

(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or 4, put a +1/+1 counter on Inhumaniac. On a 5 or higher, put two +1/+1 counters on it. On a 1, remove all +1/+1 counters from Inhumaniac.

When It That Gets Left Hanging enters the battlefield, ask a person outside the game to high-five you. If they won't, It That Gets Left Hanging gains haste until end of turn.

{1}{R}, {T}: Shuffle Jalum Grifter and two lands you control face down. Target opponent chooses one of those cards. Turn the cards face up. If they chose Jalum Grifter, sacrifice it. Otherwise, destroy target permanent.

Flying

As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. If you a roll a 1, sacrifice Krazy Kow and it deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."

Equip {2}

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

{1}{B}{R}: Note the name of target instant or sorcery card in your graveyard and put it onto the battlefield face down. It's a 3/3 creature with "Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may create a copy of the card with the noted name. You may cast the copy without paying its mana cost" and "If this creature would leave the battlefield, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else."

{1}{B/R}: Switch a Killbot or Mary O'Kill in your hand with one on the battlefield. (If a creature is tapped, the switched creature is tapped. The same is true for untapped, attacking, blocking, enchanted, equipped, and targeted. Any counters on a creature are on the switched creature instead.)

Whenever you roll a 3 or higher, Monoxa, Midway Manager gains first strike until end of turn. If the roll was 4 or higher, it gains menace until end of turn. If the roll was 5 or higher, it gains lifelink until end of turn.

{6}: Roll a six-sided die.

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

Rangeling (This card is every land type, including Plains, Island, Swamp, Mountain, Forest, Desert, Gate, Lair, Locus, and all those Urza's ones.)

Nearby Planet enters the battlefield tapped.

When Nearby Planet enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you pay {1}.

Skip your untap step.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.

Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)

Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die. Painiac gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the result.

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Choose target creature. Roll a six-sided die.

1 -- It has base toughness 1 until end of turn.

2 -- Put two -1/-1 counters on it.

3 -- Six-Sided Die deals 3 damage to it and you gain 3 life.

4 -- It gets -4/-4 until end of turn.

5 -- Destroy it.

6 -- Exile it.

Flying

When Skull Saucer enters the battlefield, destroy target creature and put your head on the table. Sacrifice Skull Saucer when your head stops touching the table.

Choose one --

• Destroy target artifact.

• Roll a six-sided die. When you do, Slight Malfunction deals 1 damage to each of up to X target creatures, where X is the result.

Deathtouch

When Steady-Handed Mook enters the battlefield, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put all creature cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control. They're Zombies in addition to their other types. (Remove those cards from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Trample (This spell can deal excess damage to its target's controller.)

Super-Duper Death Ray deals 4 damage to target creature.

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

Prowess (Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, this creature gets +1/+1 until end of turn.)

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.

Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

{T}: Add one mana of any color that appears on your top. (A top is an outerwear garment worn on the upper body.)

Players play a Magic subgame, starting at 1 life and using their libraries as their decks. For the rest of the main game, if a source would deal damage to a player who didn't win the subgame, it deals double that damage to that player instead.

Destroy target land.

Gotcha -- If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

Enchant player

As Volrath's Motion Sensor enters the battlefield, choose one of enchanted player's hands. That player balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of that hand.

When Volrath's Motion Sensor falls off the chosen hand, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor and enchanted player loses 3 life.

Well Done deals 5 damage to target creature. If that creature is rare or mythic rare, Well Done deals 3 damage to that creature's controller.

Wet Willie of the Damned deals 2½ damage to any target and you gain 2½ life.

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)