Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each artifact and/or enchantment you control.

Put two +1/+1 counters on target creature. It gains vigilance, trample, lifelink, indestructible, and haste until end of turn.

Flashback {2}{R}{W} (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

Lord of the Pyrrhian Legions -- Whenever Anrakyr the Traveller attacks, you may cast an artifact spell from your hand or graveyard by paying life equal to its mana value rather than paying its mana cost.

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may attach any number of Auras and Equipment you control to target permanent or player.

Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add {R} or {W}. Battlefield Forge deals 1 damage to you.

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)

As Blood Crypt enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Bloodfell Caves enters the battlefield tapped.

When Bloodfell Caves enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.

{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

When Blue Ribbon enters the battlefield, ask a person outside the game which creature you control is most deserving of a blue ribbon. Attach Blue Ribbon to that creature.

Equipped creature has best in show. (Whenever another creature becomes the target of a spell or ability you control, you may copy that spell or ability. If you do, the copy targets this creature.)

Equip {3}

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Boros Garrison enters the battlefield tapped.

When Boros Garrison enters the battlefield, return a land you control to its owner's hand.

{T}: Add {R}{W}.

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has trample. (It can deal excess combat damage to the player or planeswalker it's attacking.)

Equip {4} ({4}: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery.)

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.

When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Trample

Equipped creature gets +3/+2 and has trample.

Reconfigure {5} ({5}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

Whenever Bruse Tarl, Boorish Herder enters the battlefield or attacks, target creature you control gains double strike and lifelink until end of turn.

Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature has vigilance and "At the beginning of your end step, create a 1/1 white Human creature token."

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add {W} or {B}. Caves of Koilos deals 1 damage to you.

Enchant creature you control

When Chains of Custody enters the battlefield, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls until Chains of Custody leaves the battlefield.

Enchanted creature has ward {2}. (Whenever it becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays {2}.)

Equipped creature has first strike, trample, and haste.

Equip {1}

Flying

Equipped creature has flying and "You can't lose the game and your opponents can't win the game."

Reconfigure {5} ({5}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

First strike, vigilance, lifelink

Aura and Equipment spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

Whenever you're dealt damage, you may create that many 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens.

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Equipped creature has defender and "{2}, {T}: Other creatures you control gain trample and get +X/+X until end of turn, where X is this creature's power."

Equip {3}

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.

Fling deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature's power to any target.

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 -- A card named Goblin Tutor

3 -- An enchantment

4 -- An artifact

5 -- A creature

6 -- An instant or sorcery

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)

As Godless Shrine enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.

{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

When Heliod's Pilgrim enters the battlefield, you may search your library for an Aura card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to white is less than five, Heliod isn't a creature.

Whenever you gain life, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature or enchantment you control.

{1}{W}: Another target creature gains lifelink until end of turn.

As Ignacio of Myra's Marvels enters the battlefield, choose armor, blood, book, bottle, fang, fire, scroll, spear, sword, or water.

Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen object in its art, create two Treasure tokens.

Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)

Destroy target nonblack creature.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature has lifelink. (Damage dealt by the creature also causes its controller to gain that much life.)

Double strike

Equipped creature has double strike.

Reconfigure {2} ({2}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

Equipped creature has "{T}: This creature deals 1 damage to target player or planeswalker. Roll a six-sided die. On a 5 or higher, untap it."

Equip {2}

Target artifact or creature gains hexproof and indestructible until end of turn. Scry 1.

Flying, trample

{B}, Sacrifice another creature: Target player mills three cards.

Pay 1 life: Add {C}. Spend this mana only to cast a spell from your graveyard.

Luxury Suite enters the battlefield tapped unless you have two or more opponents.

{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

As an additional cost to cast this spell, choose A through M or N through Z.

Destroy each creature whose name begins with a letter in the chosen range.

Flying

{1}{B}, {T}: Rather than pay the mana cost of the next spell you cast this turn, you may pay life equal to that spell's mana value.

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

{T}: Add {∞}.

{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Skip your untap step.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.

Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

As Nocturno of Myra's Marvels enters the battlefield, choose a word with five or more letters.

Whenever you cast a spell with the chosen word in its rules text, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.

Partner (You can have two commanders if both have partner.)

Nomad Outpost enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add {R}, {W}, or {B}.

Search your library for an Aura or Equipment card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)

Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+1 and has protection from die rolls. (Nothing that lets a player roll a die can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to equipped creature.)

Equip {2}

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Haste

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has haste.

Reconfigure {R} ({R}: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)

Rakdos Guildgate enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add {B} or {R}.

{1}, {T}: Add {B}{R}.

Destroy target creature. If that creature dies this way, its controller creates two tokens that are copies of that creature, except their base power is half that creature's power and their base toughness is half that creature's toughness. Round up each time.

Add or subtract 1 from target creature's power, target player's life total, or target die roll's result.

Draw a card.

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and lifelink.

{1}: Permanents your opponents control lose hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.

Equip {2}

Silverquill Campus enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

{4}, {T}: Scry 1.

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Auras and Equipment you control attached to Solaflora, Intergalactic Icon affect other creatures you control as though those Auras and Equipment were attached to them.

Counters and stickers on Solaflora affect other creatures you control as though those counters and stickers were on them.

Spectator Seating enters the battlefield tapped unless you have two or more opponents.

{T}: Add {R} or {W}.

Enchant creature (Target a creature as you cast this. This card enters the battlefield attached to that creature.)

Whenever enchanted creature deals damage, you gain that much life.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has protection from creatures.

Whenever you cast an Aura, Equipment, or Vehicle spell, draw a card.

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

Target player discards a card.

Gotcha -- If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.

1 -- Do nothing.

2 -- Destroy all artifacts.

3 -- Destroy all lands.

4 -- Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

5 -- Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.

6 -- Repeat this process two more times.

Indestructible

As Stuffy Doll enters the battlefield, choose a player.

Whenever Stuffy Doll is dealt damage, it deals that much damage to the chosen player.

{T}: Stuffy Doll deals 1 damage to itself.

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

Equipped creature has hexproof and haste. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.)

Equip {1}

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.

Equip {2}

Exile target creature. Its controller gains life equal to its power.

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

Vault of Champions enters the battlefield tapped unless you have two or more opponents.

{T}: Add {W} or {B}.

Wind-Scarred Crag enters the battlefield tapped.

When Wind-Scarred Crag enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.

{T}: Add {R} or {W}.