At the beginning of your upkeep, you may say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the . . ." and the name of a creature card. If you do, search your library for a card with that name, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step.

Whenever you cast a spell, note the first letter of its artist's name. If that letter wasn't already noted, put a +1/+1 counter on Abstract Iguanart.

Whenever you cast a wordy spell, scry 2. (A spell is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

{1}{R}, {T}: Choose target creature you don't control. Reveal the top card of your library. Alexander Clamilton gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of lines of rules text of the revealed card. Alexander Clamilton fights that creature.

Enchant your library

Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.

If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.

Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.

Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Trample

Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.

B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

As B.O.B. enters the battlefield, create four 1/1 blue Beeble creature tokens.

The number of loyalty counters on B.O.B. is equal to the number of Beebles you control. (Create or sacrifice Beebles whenever B.O.B. gains or loses loyalty.)

+1: Up to X target Beebles can't be blocked this turn, where X is the number of cards in your hand.

-1: Draw a card.

Baron Von Count enters the battlefield with a doom counter on "5."

Whenever you cast a spell with the indicated numeral in its mana cost, text box, power, or toughness, move the doom counter one numeral to the left.

When the doom counter moves from "1," destroy target player and put that doom counter on "5."

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player.

Blurry (This creature can be blocked only if defending player was wearing glasses as it was cast.)

Whenever Blurry Beeble deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

As Boomstacker enters the battlefield and whenever it attacks, stack two dice on top of it. (All dice must be stacked vertically, one on top of another.)

Boomstacker gets +1/+1 for each die in its stack.

Boomstacker attacks each combat if able.

When the stack falls, sacrifice Boomstacker.

Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of them into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.)

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.

When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters the battlefield, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.

• Whack -- {T}: Target player loses 2 life.

• Doodle -- {T}: You gain 3 life.

• Buzz -- {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

{1}{W}, Remove a counter from a permanent you control: Create a 1/1 colorless Gnome artifact creature token.

{1}{W}, Sacrifice an artifact: Choose any kind of counter a printed card refers to, then put one of that counter on target permanent.

Flying

Gotcha -- If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.

As Censorship enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

As Charm School enters the battlefield, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.

Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you by sources of the chosen color.

When Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.

Flying

City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

When Clocknapper enters the battlefield, choose beginning phase, precombat main phase, combat phase, postcombat main phase, or ending phase. Steal that phase from target player during their next turn. (That phase occurs as though it's your turn instead.)

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.

When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Enchant creature

Curse of the Fire Penguin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

Trample

When this creature dies, return Curse of the Fire Penguin to the battlefield.

{0}: Return Deadhead from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Flying

Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to create that many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.)

Creature tokens you control are Squirrels in addition to their other creature types.

Other Squirrels you control get +1/+1.

Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice, "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature.

During your turn, if Entirely Normal Armchair is in your hand, you may hide it on the battlefield.

{0}: Return Entirely Normal Armchair to its owner's hand. Only your opponents may activate this ability and only if they see Entirely Normal Armchair.

{2}, Sacrifice Entirely Normal Armchair: Destroy target attacking creature.

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.

When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Each attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number among attacking or blocking creatures has first strike.

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

{T}: Choose target spell or ability that targets a permanent you control. Then ask a person outside the game if the story of what will happen makes sense. If they say no, sacrifice Flavor Judge and counter that spell or ability.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.

When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

Frenzy 2 (Whenever this creature attacks and isn't blocked, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn.)

Garbage Elemental can't be blocked by wordy creatures. (A creature is wordy if it has four or more lines of rules text.)

Menace (This creature can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.)

Other creatures you control wearing hats in their art have menace.

When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 -- A card named Goblin Tutor

3 -- An enchantment

4 -- An artifact

5 -- A creature

6 -- An instant or sorcery

You gain life equal to your age.

All graveyards are also your graveyards.

Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.

{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.

{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

As Hangman enters the battlefield, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.

{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.

When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

Hoisted Hireling has flying as long as it's being held above the battlefield.

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

Flying, first strike

{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Flying, first strike, trample

Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Destroy target nonblack creature.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.

As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Haste

Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.

{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Stand up, Flap your arms, Cluck like a chicken: Mesa Chicken gains flying until end of turn.

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return that card to your hand.

Skip your untap step.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.

Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Choose one --

• Destroy each creature with an odd number of words in its name. (Hyphenated words are one word.)

• Destroy each creature with an even number of words in its name.

Phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo {G}{G}, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2

{W}, {T}: Tap target creature without reminder text. (Reminder text is still any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)

Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.

{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.

{T}: Add {C}. (This mana is still added to your mana pool.)

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Whenever a player casts a spell that targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. Change the target of that spell to the player with the lowest result. Reroll to break ties, if necessary.

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

As Six-y Beast enters the battlefield, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters the battlefield.

Counter target spell.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

When Split Screen enters the battlefield, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.

Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.

When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Flying

Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

As Staff of the Letter Magus enters the battlefield, choose a consonant other than N, R, S, or T.

Whenever a player casts a spell, you gain 1 life for each time the chosen letter appears in that spell's name.

Flying

Whenever Stet, Draconic Proofreader attacks, you may exile a card from your graveyard. When you do, Stet, Draconic Proofreader deals 4 damage to any target whose name begins with the same letter as the exiled card.

{W}: Delete the first letter of target permanent or player's name until end of turn.

Target player discards a card.

Gotcha -- If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, ending, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.)

As long as there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed.

Destroy target land.

Gotcha -- If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to pay Un-costs.

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.

-1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.

-6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Choose two --

• Untap two target permanents.

• Tap each permanent target player controls with exactly one word in its name.

• Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards.

• Return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

Target player gains X life.

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Destroy target artifact.

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Counter target creature spell.

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Destroy target land.

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Destroy target enchantment.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.

{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.

{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

All creatures have haste.

Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.

Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)