Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Sacrifice Amateur Auteur: Destroy target enchantment.

Flying

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may destroy target nonland permanent.

Enchant your library

Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.

If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.

Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.

Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Trample

Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.

B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

({T}: Add {B} or {R}.)

As Blood Crypt enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Bloodstained Mire: Search your library for a Swamp or Mountain card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)

As Breeding Pool enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may destroy target artifact.

As Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle enters the battlefield, you and an opponent each secretly choose Whack or Doodle. Then those choices are revealed. If the choices match, Buzzing Whack-a-Doodle has that ability. Otherwise, it has Buzz.

• Whack -- {T}: Target player loses 2 life.

• Doodle -- {T}: You gain 3 life.

• Buzz -- {2}, {T}: Draw a card.

+1: Create a 2/2 red Gremlin creature token.

-2: Chandra, Gremlin Wrangler deals X damage to target creature or player, where X is the number of Gremlins you control.

Spells you cast cost {½} less to cast.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.

Flying

City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

Whenever City of Brass becomes tapped, it deals 1 damage to you.

{T}: Add one mana of any color.

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Flying

Whenever Do-It-Yourself Seraph attacks, you may search your library for an artifact card, exile it, then shuffle.

Do-It-Yourself Seraph has the text box of each card exiled with Do-It-Yourself Seraph in addition to its own.

Flying

When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

+1: Target opponent creates a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token with "When this creature dies, each opponent gains 2 life."

+1: Roll a d20. If you roll a 1, skip your next turn. If you roll a 12 or higher, draw a card.

-6: You get an adventuring party. (Your party is a 3/3 red Fighter with first strike, a 1/1 white Cleric with lifelink, a 2/2 black Rogue with hexproof, and a 1/1 blue Wizard with flying.)

If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.

Exile target enchantment.

{2}, {T}: Move a counter from one permanent onto another. If the second permanent refers to any kind of counter, the moved counter becomes one of those counters. Otherwise, it becomes a +1/+1 counter.

{3}, {T}: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

{4}, {T}: Proliferate. (Choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)

{T}: Add one mana of any color that a land an opponent controls could produce.

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Flooded Strand: Search your library for a Plains or Island card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

{T}: Add one mana of any color.

Whenever you tap Forbidden Orchard for mana, target opponent creates a 1/1 colorless Spirit creature token.

({T}: Add {G}.)

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn.

Fruitcake Elemental is indestructible.

At the end of your turn, Fruitcake Elemental deals 7 damage to you.

{3}: Target player gains control of Fruitcake Elemental.

When GO TO JAIL enters the battlefield, exile target creature an opponent controls until GO TO JAIL leaves the battlefield.

At the beginning of the upkeep of the exiled card's owner, that player rolls two six-sided dice. If they roll doubles, sacrifice GO TO JAIL.

You choose all targets for all spells and abilities.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 -- A card named Goblin Tutor

3 -- An enchantment

4 -- An artifact

5 -- A creature

6 -- An instant or sorcery

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)

As Godless Shrine enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.

{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

Combined, enchanted, and equipped creatures you control have menace.

{3}{B}{R}, {T}: Put two target creature cards from graveyards onto the battlefield combined into one creature under your control. (Its power is equal to their total power, its toughness is equal to their total toughness, and it has their names, mana costs, types, text boxes, etc.)

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)

As Hallowed Fountain enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

As Hydradoodle enters the battlefield, roll X six-sided dice. Hydradoodle enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the total of those results.

Reach, trample

As Ineffable Blessing enters the battlefield, choose white-bordered or silver-bordered.

Whenever a creature with the chosen border enters the battlefield under your control, draw a card.

Flying, first strike

{1}{B}, Reveal Infernal Spawn of Evil from your hand, Say "It's coming!": Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 1 damage to target opponent or planeswalker. Activate only during your upkeep and only once each turn.

Flying, first strike, trample

Once each turn, while you're searching your library, you may pay {1}{B}, reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library and say "I'm coming, too!" If you do, Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil deals 2 damage to a player of your choice.

(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.

1 -- Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.

2 -- Add {W}.

3 -- Add {U}.

4 -- Add {B}.

5 -- Add {R}.

6 -- Add {G}.

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

First strike, protection from black borders (Nothing with a black border can block, target, deal damage to, or attach to this creature.)

Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

({T}: Add {R}.)

{T}: Add {∞}.

{100}: Add one mana of any color.

Phasing, cumulative upkeep {1}, echo {G}{G}, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2

({T}: Add {B} or {G}.)

As Overgrown Tomb enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.

{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Polluted Delta: Search your library for an Island or Swamp card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

{T}: Add one mana of any type that a land you control could produce.

If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.

Exile target artifact.

Whenever you cast a spell, put a 0/1 colorless Egg artifact creature token onto the battlefield.

Whenever an Egg you control is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, destroy target artifact or creature.

({T}: Add {R} or {W}.)

As Sacred Foundry enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)

({T}: Add {W} or {B}.)

Family gathering -- Each creature target player controls deals damage equal to its power to another random creature that player controls.

Search your library for a basic land card and reveal it. If there's a tree in its art, put it onto the battlefield tapped. Otherwise, put it into your hand. Then shuffle.

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player reveals their hand. You choose a card from it with the longest name. That player discards that card.

Whenever a creature deals damage to you, put a globe counter on it.

{T}, {Q}, {T}, {Q}, {T}: Tap all creatures with globe counters on them.

{4}, {T}, Sacrifice Spatula of the Ages: You may put a silver-bordered or acorn permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Flying

Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

"Until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end.

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)

As Steam Vents enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)

As Stomping Ground enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.

1 -- Do nothing.

2 -- Destroy all artifacts.

3 -- Destroy all lands.

4 -- Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

5 -- Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.

6 -- Repeat this process two more times.

({T}: Add {B}.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.

Equip {2}

({T}: Add {R} or {G}.)

({T}: Add {G} or {W}.)

As Temple Garden enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

{2}{B/R}{B/R}, {T}: Roll a six-sided die. Create a number of 1/1 red Brainiac creature tokens equal to the result.

Tap three untapped Brainiacs you control: The next time you would roll a six-sided die, instead roll two six-sided dice and use the total of those results.

The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast® Customer Service deals X damage to each of Y target creatures and Z target players or planeswalkers.

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

({T}: Add {G} or {U}.)

({T}: Add {W} or {U}.)

Trample

When Uktabi Kong enters the battlefield, destroy all artifacts.

Tap two untapped Apes you control: Create a 1/1 green Ape creature token.

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)

+1: Head to AskUrza.com and click +1.

-1: Head to AskUrza.com and click -1.

-6: Head to AskUrza.com and click -6.

Choose two --

• Switch target creature's power and toughness until end of turn.

• Target creature can't be blocked this turn.

• Draw a card. If that card's art is by Wayne England, you may reveal it and draw another card.

• Assemble a Contraption.

({T}: Add {U} or {R}.)

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)

As Watery Grave enters the battlefield, you may pay 2 life. If you don't, it enters the battlefield tapped.

Target player gains X life.

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Destroy target artifact.

---

Counter target creature spell.

---

Destroy target land.

---

Destroy target enchantment.

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Windswept Heath: Search your library for a Forest or Plains card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

{T}, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Wooded Foothills: Search your library for a Mountain or Forest card, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.

All creatures have haste.

Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.

Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy another nonland permanent chosen at random, then put a number of +1/+1 counters on Yule Ooze equal to that permanent's converted mana cost.

{R}{G}, Eat some food: Regenerate Yule Ooze.