Exile target attacking creature. Then remove it from the game. Then put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone.

Create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.

Flashback--{1}{G}, Pay 3 life. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)

Your minimum deck size is reduced by five.

Destroy target silver-bordered or acorn permanent in any game you can see from your seat.

Trample

Whenever a player casts a spell, put a chip counter on its mana value.

B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them.

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)

Draw an additional hand of seven cards as the game begins. Before taking mulligans, shuffle all but one of your hands into your library.

{1}{B}, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass.

{T}: Tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color. Remove the pieces from the game.

Madness {R}, cycling {1}{R}, kicker {2}{R}, flashback {3}{R}, buyback {4}{R}

Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to any target. If this spell was kicked, create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token.

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

Flying

Gotcha -- If an opponent touches the table with their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.

Flying

Whenever a 6 is rolled on a six-sided die, put a +1/+1 counter on each Bird. (You may roll dice only when instructed to.)

Tap an untapped Bird you control: Roll a six-sided die. (Like now.)

Draft Cogwork Librarian face up.

As you draft a card, you may draft an additional card from that booster pack. If you do, put Cogwork Librarian into that booster pack.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "creature" or "guy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand.

{0}: Return Deadhead from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only if an opponent isn't touching their hand (of cards).

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Echo {3}{G}{G} (At the beginning of your upkeep, if this came under your control since the beginning of your last upkeep, sacrifice it unless you pay its echo cost.)

When Deranged Hermit enters the battlefield, create four 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.

Squirrel creatures get +1/+1.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system.

As Elvish Impersonators enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die twice. Its base power becomes the first result and its base toughness becomes the second result.

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)

Before drawing your opening hand, choose 1, 2, or 3.

You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast creature spells with mana value equal to the chosen number.

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that player.

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.

When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Flip X coins. For each flip you win, create a 2/2 green Sheep creature token named Rabid Sheep.

As Form of the Squirrel enters the battlefield, create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token. You lose the game when that creature leaves the battlefield.

Creatures can't attack you.

You have shroud.

You can't cast spells.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

{R}, {T}: Reflip any coin or reroll any die. (Activate only any time it makes sense.)

If Goblin Bowling Team would deal damage to a permanent or player, it deals that much damage plus the result of a six-sided die roll to that permanent or player instead.

Roll a six-sided die. If you roll a 1, Goblin Tutor has no effect. Otherwise, search your library for the indicated card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

2 -- A card named Goblin Tutor

3 -- An enchantment

4 -- An artifact

5 -- A creature

6 -- An instant or sorcery

You gain life equal to your age.

Roll a six-sided die. Target creature gets +X/+X until end of turn, where X is the result.

Denimwalk (This creature can't be blocked as long as defending player is wearing denim.)

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)

The first creature spell you cast each turn costs {1} less to cast.

You can't cast instant or sorcery spells.

Each player searches their library for any number of artifact, creature, enchantment, and/or land cards, puts them onto the battlefield, then shuffles.

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.

1 -- Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.

2 -- Add {W}.

3 -- Add {U}.

4 -- Add {B}.

5 -- Add {R}.

6 -- Add {G}.

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

Destroy target nonblack creature.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Gotcha -- If an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand.

Draft Leovold's Operative face up.

As you draft a card, you may draft an additional card from that booster pack. If you do, turn Leovold's Operative face down, then pass the next booster pack without drafting a card from it. (You may look at that booster pack.)

When Letter Bomb enters the battlefield, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

As Meddling Kids enters the battlefield, choose a word with four or more letters.

Spells with the chosen word in their text box can't be cast.

When Mine, Mine, Mine! enters the battlefield, each player puts their library into their hand.

Players have no maximum hand size and don't lose the game for drawing from an empty library.

Each player can't cast more than one spell each turn.

When Mine, Mine, Mine! leaves the battlefield, each player shuffles their hand and graveyard into their library.

Choose a nonland card name, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card has the chosen name, you draw three cards.

{U}, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage gains shroud until end of turn.

{U}, Say an opponent's middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn.

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may create a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token.

Threshold -- Squirrel creatures get +2/+2 as long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard.

Exile all permanents and all cards from all graveyards. Each player shuffles their hand into their library, then draws seven cards. Each player's life total becomes 10. Exile Once More with Feeling.

DCI ruling -- A deck can have only one card named Once More with Feeling.

Reveal Paliano, the High City as you draft it. The player to your right chooses a color, you choose another color, then the player to your left chooses a third color.

{T}: Add one mana of any color chosen as you drafted cards named Paliano, the High City.

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)

You are the starting player. If multiple players would be the starting player, one of those players is chosen at random.

{R}, {T}, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box.

Each player sacrifices all permanents that are rare or mythic rare, then each player reveals their hand and discards all cards that are rare or mythic rare.

Reveal Regicide as you draft it. The player to your right chooses a color, you choose another color, then the player to your left chooses a third color.

Destroy target creature that's one or more of the colors chosen as you drafted cards named Regicide.

You may play cards as though they were other cards of your choice with the same mana cost. You can't choose the same card twice. (Mana cost includes color.)

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Ninjutsu {4}{U}{B} ({4}{U}{B}, Return an unblocked attacker you control to hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking.)

Whenever Silent-Blade Oni deals combat damage to a player, look at that player's hand. You may cast a spell from among those cards without paying its mana cost.

(Start the game with this conspiracy face up in the command zone.)

Your starting deck can't have basic land cards and your starting hand size is five.

Exile a card from your hand: This turn, you may play basic lands from outside the game.

Basic lands you control have "{T}: Add one mana of any color."

Counter target spell.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

{1}{G}, Sacrifice a land: Create two 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens.

{1}{G}, Sacrifice a land: Squirrel creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn.

Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)

Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Target player discards a card.

Gotcha -- If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

Roll a six-sided die. Strategy, Schmategy has the indicated effect.

1 -- Do nothing.

2 -- Destroy all artifacts.

3 -- Destroy all lands.

4 -- Strategy, Schmategy deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.

5 -- Each player discards their hand and draws seven cards.

6 -- Repeat this process two more times.

The Fallen Apart enters the battlefield with two arms and two legs.

Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it.

The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms.

Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on.

Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.

As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Destroy target land.

Gotcha -- If an opponent touches their face, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand.

As Water Gun Balloon Game enters the battlefield, each player puts a pop! counter on "0."

Whenever a player casts a spell, move that player's pop! counter up one.

Whenever a player's pop! counter hits "5," that player creates a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token and resets all pop! counters to "0."

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

All creatures have haste.

Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.

Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are on the battlefield under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.