Enchant land

When Abundant Growth enters the battlefield, draw a card.

Enchanted land has "{T}: Add one mana of any color."

Flying

{B}, Pay 2 life: Put a +1/+1 counter on Bloodtracker.

When Bloodtracker leaves the battlefield, draw a card for each +1/+1 counter on it.

Whenever you cast a spell, you may gain ½ life for each word in that spell's name.

As Censorship enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.

Flying

Whenever Clambassadors deals damage to a player, choose an artifact, creature, or land you control. That player gains control of that permanent.

Flying

{1}, Throw Clay Pigeon into the air at least two feet above your head while seated: If you catch Clay Pigeon with one hand, prevent all damage a source of your choice would deal to you this turn and tap Clay Pigeon. Otherwise, sacrifice it.

+2: Discard up to two cards, then draw that many cards.

-2: Sacrifice an artifact. If you do, return target artifact card from your graveyard to the battlefield.

-10: You get an emblem with "Whenever an artifact is put into your graveyard from the battlefield, return that card to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step."

Daretti, Scrap Savant can be your commander.

Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.

Flying

When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

({T}: Add {G}.)

Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.

Gus enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it for each Magic game you have lost to one of your opponents since you last won a game against them.

You have ten seconds to look at and rearrange the cards in your library. At the end of those ten seconds, if you're touching one or more of those cards, shuffle.

When you speak in non-rhyming sentences, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.

Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Change the target of target spell or ability that targets only you.

(This creature has INFINITE POWER.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

({T}: Add {U}.)

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. This ability has the indicated effect.

1 -- Sacrifice Jack-in-the-Mox and you lose 5 life.

2 -- Add {W}.

3 -- Add {U}.

4 -- Add {B}.

5 -- Add {R}.

6 -- Add {G}.

Flying

As Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield, roll a six-sided die. Jumbo Imp enters the battlefield with a number of +1/+1 counters on it equal to the result.

At the beginning of your upkeep, roll a six-sided die and put a number of +1/+1 counters on Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

At the beginning of your end step, roll a six-sided die and remove a number of +1/+1 counters from Jumbo Imp equal to the result.

Jungle Shrine enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add {R}, {G}, or {W}.

As Keeper of the Sacred Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if an opponent controls more lands than you, you may search your library for up to three basic land cards, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.

When Letter Bomb enters the battlefield, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card they draw until they draw Letter Bomb. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 19½ damage to them.

Equipped creature has haste and shroud. (It can't be the target of spells or abilities.)

Equip {0}

As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.

As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.

Mirror Mirror enters the battlefield tapped.

{7}, {T}, Sacrifice Mirror Mirror: Choose target player. At the beginning of the next end step, exchange life totals with that player, exchange control of all permanents you and that player control, and exchange cards in your hands, cards in your libraries, and cards in your graveyards.

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

({T}: Add {R}.)

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

As long as Necrotic Ooze is on the battlefield, it has all activated abilities of all creature cards in all graveyards.

Whenever a creature deals damage to a player, that player may say "Ow" once for each permanent named Ow. If the player doesn't, Ow deals 1 damage to them.

As long as Pact Weapon is attached to a creature, you don't lose the game for having 0 or less life.

Whenever equipped creature attacks, draw a card and reveal it. The creature gets +X/+X until end of turn and you lose X life, where X is that card's mana value.

Equip--Discard a card.

Haste

You can attack with Party Crasher once each combat during each opponent's turn.

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

({T}: Add {W}.)

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It gains "At the beginning of each end step, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs."

Super haste (This may attack the turn before you cast it. (You may put this card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped and attacking during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the beginning of your next turn's end step unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.))

Sejiri Refuge enters the battlefield tapped.

When Sejiri Refuge enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.

{T}: Add {W} or {U}.

Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has trample and lifelink.

{1}: Permanents your opponents control lose hexproof and indestructible until end of turn.

Equip {2}

{0}: Choose one. You may activate this ability while Shellephant is in any zone.

• Shellephant has base power and toughness 1/4.

• Shellephant has base power and toughness 3/3.

You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, create a 3/3 green Ape creature token.

Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Counter target spell.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

When Spirit of the Season enters the battlefield, it gains haste if it's summer. Put a +1/+1 counter on it if it's autumn. You gain 5 life if it's winter. If it's spring, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance.

Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.)

Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, cast spells, or activate abilities.

Target creature gets +3½/+3½ until end of turn.

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

({T}: Add {B}.)

Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from Rogues and from Clerics.

Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, create a 4/4 gold Dragon creature token with flying and roll a d20 (a twenty-sided die). If you roll a 20, repeat this process.

Equip {2}

Triple strike (This creature deals first-strike, regular, and last-strike combat damage.)

{4}: You may put a creature card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Tranquil Expanse enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add {G} or {W}.

{2}: Roll a six-sided die. Urza's Science Fair Project gets the indicated result.

1 -- It gets -2/-2 until end of turn.

2 -- Prevent all combat damage it would deal this turn.

3 -- It gains vigilance until end of turn.

4 -- It gains first strike until end of turn.

5 -- It gains flying until end of turn.

6 -- It gets +2/+2 until end of turn.

Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life.

{W}, {T}: Search your library for a land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle. Activate only if an opponent controls more lands than you.

When this creature enters the battlefield, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name.

Worn Powerstone enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Flying, deathtouch

When Zyym, Mesmeric Lord enters the battlefield, target opponent chooses an order for the cards in their hand, then reveals them one by one until you say stop. That player then discards the most recently revealed card.

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

Trample

When this creature enters the battlefield, you may put a name sticker on it. Put a +1/+1 counter on it for each unique vowel on that sticker. (The vowels are A, E, I, O, U, and Y.)