Enchant your library

Enchanted library is an artifact creature on the battlefield with power and toughness each equal to the number of cards in it. It's still a library.

If enchanted library would leave the battlefield, exile Animate Library instead.

This spell costs {1} more to cast for each ten years you've been alive.

Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest ½.

Avatar of Me is the color of your eyes.

Spells you cast cost {1} less to cast.

You must speak in a voice other than your normal voice.

When you speak in your normal voice, sacrifice Bronze Calendar.

Pursuant to subsection 3.1(4) of Richard's Rules of Order, at the beginning of the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.

When any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards their complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

As Censorship enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whenever a player says the chosen word, Censorship deals 2 damage to that player.

If Cheatyface is in your hand, you may sneak Cheatyface onto the battlefield. If an opponent catches you right away, that player may exile Cheatyface.

Flying

City of Ass enters the battlefield tapped.

{T}: Add one and one-half mana of any one color.

{T}: Add one mana of any color in your commander's color identity.

Sacrifice Commander's Sphere: Draw a card.

Whenever a player casts a spell without asking your permission while casting it, counter that spell.

When a player asks you permission to cast a spell and you refuse, counter that spell and sacrifice Common Courtesy.

Create a 1/2 blue Bird creature token with flying named Storm Crow.

Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)

Choose a card name, then target spell's controller reveals their hand. If a card with the chosen name is revealed this way, counter that spell.

{1}, {T}: Add {U}{B}.

Flying

When Double Header enters the battlefield, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand.

Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.)

Players play a Magic subgame under the table, starting at 5 life and using their libraries as their decks. The winner searches their library for two cards, puts those cards into their hand, then shuffles.

{T}: Add one mana of any color.

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card.

{8}, {T}: Everythingamajig deals 12 damage to target creature.

Last strike (This creature deals combat damage after creatures without last strike.)

You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature.

As Farewell to Arms enters the battlefield, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm.

When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards their hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.)

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)

Fetid Pools enters the battlefield tapped.

Cycling {2} ({2}, Discard this card: Draw a card.)

Put target nonland permanent into your hand. You may spend mana as though it were mana of any color the next time you cast that card.

Counter target spell unless its controller pays {3}{½}.

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a Bird creature with base power and toughness 1/1.

When Free-for-All enters the battlefield, exile all creatures face down.

At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player chooses a card exiled with Free-for-All at random and puts it onto the battlefield.

When Free-for-All leaves the battlefield, put all cards exiled with it into their owners' graveyards.

All graveyards are also your graveyards.

Graveyard Busybody's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards with flavor text in your graveyards.

{2}: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling's art becomes by the artist of your choice until end of turn.

{2}: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn.

{2}: Untap Greater Morphling.

As Handcuffs enters the battlefield, choose a player.

When the chosen player's hands aren't touching each other, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three permanents.

As Hangman enters the battlefield, secretly note a word with six to eight letters.

{1}: Target player who doesn't control Hangman guesses the noted word or an unguessed letter in that word. If they guess wrong, put a +1/+1 counter on Hangman. Any player may activate this ability.

When a player guesses the noted word or all of its letters, sacrifice Hangman.

{4}: Search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle.

Destroy target nonblack creature.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "kill" or "destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand.

Enchant creature

As Loose Lips enters the battlefield, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words.

Enchanted creature has flying.

Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, that player may say the chosen sentence. If they don't, you draw two cards.

{T}: Roll a six-sided die. On a 3 or lower, target player adds {C}. Otherwise, that player adds one mana of any color they choose.

Enchant creature

As Magic Word enters the battlefield, choose a word.

Whisper the chosen word: Tap enchanted creature.

{U}: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn.

{1}: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add {C}{C}. Activate only as an instant.

Haste

Reveal Masterful Ninja from your hand: Masterful Ninja is on the battlefield and in your hand until end of turn.

{1}{B}: Masterful Ninja gets +1/+1 until end of turn.

Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you have five seconds to choose a keyword you haven't chosen for a card named Modular Monstrosity today that's been printed on a creature card. If you do, Modular Monstrosity gains that ability. Otherwise, Modular Monstrosity loses all keyword abilities.

Add or subtract 1 or one from a number or number word on target spell or permanent until end of turn.

Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature.

Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.

{1}, {T}: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and they guessed wrong, you draw a card.

At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game.

Return target permanent to its owner's hand.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand.

Creature cards in graveyards can attack and block as though they were on the battlefield, can block or be blocked only by creature cards in graveyards, are Zombies in addition to their other types, and have undeathtouch. (If they would deal damage to a creature card, exile that creature card instead.)

Creature cards in your graveyard have haste.

Phoebe, Head of S.N.E.A.K. can't be blocked by creatures with flavor text.

{2}{U}{B}: Phoebe permanently steals target creature's text box. (That creature loses all rules text, flavor text, and watermarks. This creature gains them.)

{3}, {T}: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to.

Each player plays with the top card of their library held against their forehead, revealed to each other player.

{2}{U}, {T}: Look at the top card of target player's library. If it has an Agents of S.N.E.A.K. watermark, you may reveal it and put it into your hand. Otherwise, put it on the top or bottom of its owner's library.

{T}: Add {C}.

{T}: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a spell that shares a watermark with Secret Base.

Whenever Sly Spy deals combat damage to a player, that player loses a finger until Sly Spy leaves the battlefield. (The finger is chosen by its owner and can't roll dice or touch cards.)

{T}: Add {C}{C}.

Before any player casts a spell with the same name as a card in any graveyard, that player may say "sorry." If they don't, any other player may say "sorry" as the spell is being cast. When another player says "sorry" this way, counter the spell.

Whenever a player says "sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Counter target spell.

Gotcha -- If an opponent says "spell" or "counter," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand.

When Split Screen enters the battlefield, shuffle your library and deal it into four libraries. If anything refers to your library, choose one of your libraries for it.

Play with your libraries' top cards revealed.

When Split Screen leaves the battlefield, shuffle your libraries together.

Flying

Whenever Spy Eye deals combat damage to a player, you may draw a card from that player's library.

Target player discards a card.

Gotcha -- If an opponent audibly flicks the cards in their hand, you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand.

({T}: Add {U} or {B}.)

Sunken Hollow enters the battlefield tapped unless you control two or more basic lands.

Togglodyte enters the battlefield turned on.

Whenever a player casts a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch.

As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and prevent all damage it would deal.

Choose two --

• Untap two target permanents.

• Tap each permanent target player controls with exactly one word in its name.

• Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards.

• Return target instant or sorcery card from your graveyard to your hand.

{T}: Add {C}{C}. Spend this mana only to cast spells with watermarks.

Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name.

As long as X is in X's owner's opponent's hand, X's owner may cast X and activate X's abilities. That opponent can't cast X and plays with their hand revealed.

{U}{B}, {T}: Put X into target opponent's hand.

{3}{U}{B}: You may play a land or cast a spell from the hand X is in. If you cast a spell this way, you cast it without paying its mana cost.

At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents.

{1}: This card's name becomes the card name of your choice. Activate anywhere, anytime.

target creature gets -x/-x until end of turn, where x is the number of times a capital letter appears in its rules text. (ignore reminder text and flavor text.)