Lantern Cuntroll (Modern)

"Quick" Backstory: I've wanted to build a lantern control deck ever since I started playing (which was about when Lantern Control came out). I love the idea of control, and LC is the best kind of control. I wasn't going to build it, though, because it is kinda a superdouche deck. But then the people in my playgroup started building crazy horsecrap decks (8-rack, ubermill, anything Jeskai) so I was like "Fine, if they insist on building these, then I will try to build a deck that they can't beat." I put more time, effort, and research into this than any of the other decks. And I'm still going. Love this deck.

The idea, for those who don't know, is to use Lantern of Insight combined with Codex Shredder and Goulcaller's Bell to mill good cards into your graveyard, and make sure your opponent only ever draws crap cards. Mana flood them, or mana starve them. Or leave them with 2 mana and a hand full of 9+ cards. It's up to you!

I always wanted to make a lantern control deck. I know, it's a terrible deck. I know. I get it. But it's so, so, SO much fun! Plus, I'm stuck in a playgroup of people who insist on playing decks like 8rack and UB Mill and Jeskai Ascendancy. Just the worse kind of people. So I figured I'd try to make a deck that is equally frustrating. Some insight into my logic:

Extirpate v Surgical Extraction: I know they both "do" the same thing. Surgical extraction is nice because you can use it w/o mana, which is nice in a pinch. I put extirpate in, though, because it's essentially unstoppable (counters, redirects, abilities can't be put on the stack while it's on the stack. Importantly, too, is that it has had alot of success vs. certain storm combos, the main one being grapeshot. There's been quite a few games where Grapeshot was the last ditch effort, and I was able to extirpate right before they cast, or right after they case (and before remand), and it took the game.

Thoughtseize v Distress/Duress: although Dist/Duress are nice budget alternatives, I find it's really hard to beat inquisition as a turn one "what does my opponent have?" It's nice and cheap, and gets rid of the early game scary spells.

Sideboard is designed to combat various tricks that the deck usually falls prey to. The deck typically wins game 1, then they side in hate. Evil presence gives you a way to deal with lands that maybe you really don't want tapped. Tron is when I usually use it.