Suicide Neky aka NEKUCIDE.punisher (EDH / Commander)

After a night of Liquid Plumber shots and madlibs, bad judgment gets the best of you. Next thing you know, you're awake and who do you find next to you in bed? That devilishly handsome, unabashedly dead scoundrel Lil NekNek whose reputation is as putrid as his breath.
As you gather your things, he fiendishly asks you to stay and play a while. You reply "I'm not playing your games!", and storm out, ashamed by your lapse in good decision making.
It's not until later that day that his essence sets in. A tightness sets over your followed by an ache that only intensifies. Every effort you make to try to cure yourself or find answers just leads to more suffering. You become frustrated, dumbfounded, and it burns when you pee. Pain wracks your body. All of your most basic functions hurt. It hurts just to exist. If only you whined a little more, people would think you had fibromyalgia.
Soon the pain becomes unbearable, and you begin to wish for death.
That's when the reality sets in: He's won. You had your plan to avoid his game and you thought you had done so.
But you played it the whole time. Right through to the bitter, goddamn end.