Mardu Hulkimania [Version 2.5] (Standard)

This deck. This damn deck.

I believe I've "solved Standard", if you'll allow me to explain. Since Kaladesh came out, I've been terrifying people with this deck. It's impervious, it's unstoppable.

You see;
-Aggro folds to the turn-3 fully-powered Radiant Flames and the turn 4 Cataclysmic Gearhulks. (For a long time, its only weakness was Aggro. Then I mainboarded 4 Radiant Flames.)
-Midrange is destroyed by Cataclysmic Gearhulks and surprise turn 5 Ulamogs.
-Control fails to hold down the constant revivals and triggers of Gearhulks.
-Super Friends can't keep a walker.

It's super resilient due to its control and reanimation, it's super reliable because of its super cheap and effective method of card draw. It's combo, it's midrange, and it's control, all at once, and nothing can stop it! This deck easily won me Game Day. I know that Game Day isn't the be-all and end-all of competitive challenge, but I fought against Temurge, GB Delirium, Mardu Vehicles, and WB Control there, and won against them all handily.

Me and my play group have come to love and fear this deck, to the point of having another player build a "Hulk Killer" deck specifically designed to rip this thing apart, and it was actually somewhat effective in the sense that it WASN'T a complete massacre. That said, it was still a 60/40 fight in my favour, as his deck would eventually run out of steam and hate. You can't win against this deck.

It's been refined plenty, and the sideboard is actually useful. With the banning of Emrakul and Smuggler's Copter, this deck actually has an EASIER time against what used to be two of its more difficult matchups.

The reason this deck is good because of how it plays the current standard. In current Standard, creatures are GOOD. VERY. GOOD. Because of this, removal has become rampant, necessary, expected. Because of removal's ability to reset your board state, "Spell Creatures" became the optimal ones to cast.

Spell Creatures are creatures that have an ability on cast, or an ability when they enter the battlefield. For example, Cataclysmic Gearhulk is a (near) Tragic Arrogance on a 4/5 vigilance creature. EVEN IF they destroy my Gearhulk, it entering the battlefield means I've already won, because I essentially cast a Tragic Arrogance, then made you waste resources getting rid of a physical body.

I always assume that my boardstate will NEVER consist of more than a creature or two, so I never care about Cataclysmic Gearhulk's trigger. Spend Turn 1 playing a tapped land, cast Tormenting Voice / Cathartic Reunion on Turns 2 and 3 (discarding Gearhulks/Ulamog/Linvala), then begin the real fun; reanimating/casting a huge creature each turn that gets me a huge bonus on ETB.

I've tested the numbers of cards in-deck, and your wiggle room for sideboarding comes from Combusti-Hulk, Nahiri, Radiant Flames, and sometimes Ulamog. Everything else should (nearly) always remain in. Of course, sideboards should be configured to local/optimum meta.

After months of building and playing and testing, I'm proud to say that this deck can stand the gauntlet against the rest of the Tier 1 decks in Standard. This is truly Tier 0. I proudly present this finished deck.

Try it. It's fun.

[End note: Until last Saturday (February the 8th at time of writing), I truly did believe this deck was unbeatable. Then I made another deck. That deck turned out to accidentally hard-counter this one.

This deck relies on the fact that even when my creatures die, I still win because they simply ENTERED the battlefield. What does THAT deck do? Counter all this decks spells so they never get a chance to hit the field. It's Mono-Blue Baral control ["Blue Balls"], and it's gloriously blue.

While I'm now sad that I didn't "solve Standard" with my favorite little rogue build, I'm okay with it. At the very least, it was solved in Kaladesh, because without Baral, Disallow, and his Expertise, Mono-Blue Antimagic decks just aren't good.

I don't want to sound cocky/arrogant/narcissistic, I'm just super happy that I've made something this good, and that I've done so well with it. This deck has helped bring me some of my favorite ever Magic memories. I'm just surprised that more people aren't playing HULKIMANIA, BROTHERRR.]

~UPDATE #2!: Electric Boogaloo~
Amonkhet has released. I've realized that I don't want to try and change this deck and upgrade it. I love it for what it is. So, I'm going to perfect it for what it was; the GOD of Kaladesh Standard.

You can play around with the main and sideboard (mainly Combustible Gearhulk, Radiant Flames, Nahiri, and Linvala), but I'm going to update this for what I believe will be the final time. This is the Gearhulk's Last Stand. I'll be testing out these changes and update the decklist accordingly.

The cards I should have researched, so I'll begin doing so:
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-Hanweir Battlements (Giving my big creatures haste late-game.)
-Expedite (Same reason as the Battlements, I don't know what's better.)
-Haunted Cloak (Recurring Haste, Vigilance, and Trample.)
-Olivia, Mobilized for War (Haste [and +1/+1] for 0 mana.)
-Sorin, Grim Nemesis (Massive card draw and damage from his plus.)
-Ob Nixilis, Reignited (Card draw and removal.)
-Void Winnower (Situationally, this could really screw with people.)
-Archangel Avacyn (Again, slightly situation, compared to the Gearhulks, but could really be great. This deck could use a card like her. She's protection and damage all at once. Plus Flash is nice.)
-Acrobatic Maneuver (Save a Gearhulk from removal, have it ETB again, then get the card replaced. Either this or Long Road Home.)

-I thought of Sin Prodder, but he's occasional card draw. They won't let you take lands, and won't take the damage of a Hulk, so that's what he's do, IF he doesn't get removed immediately (which he will).

-I thought about Decimator of the Provinces, since he has haste, but I thought that if I'm adding haste into the deck anyway, that ability is irrelevant.

Honestly, though, this is just the placeholder list while I work on the next version. Here's whatcha' need:

(51 cards.)
4 Cataclysmic Gearhulk
4 Noxious Gearhulk
2 Combustible Gearhulk
2 Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger

4 Cathartic Reunion
4 Tormenting Voice
4 Refurbish
4 Rise from the Grave

8 Mountain
4 Plains
1 Swamp
4 Shambling Vent
4 Smoldering Marsh
2 Geier Reach Sanitarium

That's the core.

Here's what remains: (21 cards.)
2 Combustible Gearhulks (You don't always want a whole schlock of these guys.)
4 Radiant Flames (ONLY useful when you NEED a boardwipe BEFORE TURN FRICKING FOUR [Aggro kicks ours arses, and needs to be wiped on turn 3].)
2 Linvala, the Preserver (Only useful against aggro/burn.)
1 Anguished Unmaking (A miscellaneous card that I pretty much use as an upgraded Ruinous Path. Note: Consider swapping some Paths for Unmakings.)
2 Ever After (Used against Midrange, when you need more reanimation than creatures. Gets sick value.)
4 Ruinous Path (We have problems with walkers. Cata gets rid of all but one, but if they only play ONE, it will STICK. This is your goo-begone.)
4 Transgress the Mind (Fuck YOU, Control!)
2 Nahiri, the Harbinger (A useless card against Aggro/Burn.)

You may have noticed that only adds up to 72/75 cards in the deck. I had Shock in the sideboard as a three-of, but this isn't an Aether Revolt deck. This is a Kaladesh deck. I don't want to look at Aether Revolt cards for this, because I don't want to upgrade/rotate my decks as sets come out. I like how it is, I like how it plays. I now have three free slots, which I'm experimenting with filling.

My decklist for testing purposes:
4 Cata Hulk
4 Noxious Hulk
2 Combustihulk
2 Mog
+1 Olivia, Mobilized for War (Haste, plz?)
+1 Archangel Avacyn (gud angle)
+1 Void Winnower (Salt Machine)

4 Cathartic
4 Tormenting
4 Refurbish
4 Rise from Grave
+2 Acrobatic Maneuver (Double ETB, protection.)
+1 Haunted Cloak (Haste PLZ)
1 Nahiri, the Harbinger
+1 Ob Nixilis Reignited (Nahiri was fun, is Ob?)
+1 Sorin, Grim Nemesis (REVEAL MOG, PLZ!!)

8 Mountain
4 Plains
1 Swamp
4 Shambling Vent
4 Smolder Marsh
1 Geier Reach
+1 Hanweir Battlements (HASTE, PLZ?!!)

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