My thoughts for what they are worth.
First thing
I would do is change around my land base. Not sure if your playgroup runs a
Blood Moon or similar type effects, but one of those and you are completely sunk, and very little chances to remove an enchantment.
Lands you could easily cut:
Forge of Heros
High Market (1 life per round at the cost of a body?)
Karn's BastionMistveil PlainsNesting GroundsReliquary Tower (you shouldn't ever be holding enough cards for this to REALLY matter in this deck)
Sokenzahn
The Temples are too slow, and Temple of False God too risky
Westvale Abbey, I know it's cool, does nothing for your deck
Lands you could
consider cutting:
Ghost Quarter unless your play group runs a lot of Nykthos/
Gaea's Cradle/
Field of the Dead game breaking type lands
Thespian's Stage unless there is a land in YOUR deck that you consistently tutor for and is really important, I don't think you have that with this specific deck
In place of those, go for waaaaay more basic lands, and include even more basics from other cuts below. probably shoot for 37-40 lands for the deck
Cards I'd
consider cutting:
Anje FalkenrathAnje's RavagerPact of the Serpent (may be unplayable depending on your board state)
Black Market (could be good if you really focus the deck down to using mostly Black mana with W/R as strictly compliments, otherwise it's just too slow when you need it, and when you don't need it it's sort of a waste of a play)
Bloodthrone VampireOlivia, Mobilized for War (I never quite got this card in a vampire deck. Can you afford to discard many cards? do you have creatures that need haste and a single +1 counter? I can see if being good in some Rakdos Demon deck, but here I don't get the fit)
Gatekeeper of Malakir (iffy, could make the cut for sure)
Goblin Bombardment (I'd rather be hitting my opponents face with beefed up vamps than sacrificing my beefed-up vamps to do 1 damage)
Dictate of Erebos and
Grave Pact (both great cards I love, but the deck feeds off playing Vampire creatures to grow your board. Either of these are a fine option, just for the mana costs I'm not sold they are the best play. Maybe I would keep Dictate in as a flash/gotcha card if you can keep the mana free to cast it instant speed. I would prefer to put
Butcher of Malakir back in to get the same effect AND net a token from Edgar)
Determined Iteration (your tokens aren't good enough to populate, just cast another vampire instead and get a total of 4 bodies <2 creatures and 2 tokens> instead of 3 bodies <1 creature, 1 token, and 1 more populated token>
Quietus Spike a pet card or something? (I totally don't get it. You'll be hitting your opponents with a crap ton of beefed-up vampires, probably for lethal damage most of the time, why does 1 of them need to be holding the spike?)
The PW's:
Probably more personal style, PW's aren't my thing. But also, Edgar's Eminence triggers only when you cast a creature, not a creature etb, so using your mana to cast a PW to make a token, instead of just casting a vampire and getting a free token makes little sense to me. PW's are over-costed and do too little overall to be good IMO.
IF you really like PW's and want them in, the ones I'd lean towards keeping are
Sorin, Imperious Bloodlord (great to put some 5-8 drop vampire into play from your hand for free on turn 2 or 3. A turn 2
Nirkana Revenant is game ending if you are running basic swamps
Sorin, Vengeful Bloodlord for the global
lifelink effect is nice, although it's probably not really needed tbh. Keeping it in your hand to get back a Vito or some other 3/4 CMC creature for a winning turn could be worth it in the right game
I maybe could get behind
Sorin, Lord of Innistrad to pump out as many emblems as you could with his -2
Cards I would
consider adding:
Several cards you already cut, and for reasons that i'm guessing are totally valid (signets that can get blown up, high costed cards, etc) but I think work better in an Edgar deck than they would in other decks....
Butcher of MalakirDominating Vampire (steal a huge threat, beat their face in with it, then use on of your sacrifce triggers to remove it at end of your turn before it goes home
Nirkana RevenantBaeloth Barrityl, Entertainer is just a hilarious card to me, especially when he can grow with +1 counters. Feels like a potentially great card for Edgar decks to tap down your opponent's blockers and keep you from getting hit.
Oathsworn Vampire (oddly, can be a powerhouse in this deck, especially with your sacrifice engines like
Ashnod's Altar)
Patron of the Vein (opponents will be forced to block your vampire horde and their creatures will be dying)
Rite of Oblivion AND ADD
Feed the Swarm. Your deck is made to win through overwhelming combat damage. There are SO many enchantments that block / restrict combat and how many creatures you can swing with, if you can't remove those you might as well just scoop
Victimize I love. Toss a brand-new token you just made to get back TWO important creatures into play very worth it
Others you might want to add:
VandalblastFarewellStinging StudyRakdos Charm (always a hilarious way to win against a token making deck, potential lifesaving against a graveyard deck)
Blood for the Blood God!Veinwitch CovenBlack Market Connections (you likely gain enough life to offset any costs)
Cathars' CrusadeHope some of this helps, all meant with best intentions. Your deck looks way better than the first Edgar deck I made!