Step one is figuring out which commander you want to play. Let me break this down.
You want a deck that:
- Has a focus.
- Can't be broken (whatever that means)
- Is able to freely swap cards
You would prefer:
- Red and blue control
- Burn spells (like Lightning Bolt)
- Not combat based
- Spell recursion (bringing instants/sorceries back from the graveyard)
So this is manageable, for the most part. Burn spells tend to not work well in commander, because you have 3 opponents with 40 life a piece. It's nigh impossible to do 120 points worth of burn damage, when most burn spells were designed for 20 life games.
If you're trying to win without combat damage, and you like the spellcasting aspect of red/blue, I would suggest
Nekusar, the Mindrazer as a good first commander. The focus of Nekusar is to use all kinds of mass draw effects (like
Dark Deal and
Windfall) and then penalize your opponents for drawing those cards. Because you're drawing so many cards, it's easy to draw into your control spells (counterspells, removal). Access to black also gives you access to recursion, and some other weird cards for this strategy (namely
Notion Thief and
Waste Not).
Does this interest you?