[EDH / Commander] Please, I beg you, do not play this deck

[Mostlynotgay]

Please, I beg you, do not play this deck

Literally, not a single person at the table will feel anything other than abject hatred for you.  And your deck.  And your family.  And you will deserve it.  You will absolutely deserve it.  But you can take it.  You must take it.  You must be the hated.

This deck is not made to win, though it may.  It's not made to synergize, though it may.  It's not even made to "work"... though, sometimes, it does. 

No.  No it is made to do one thing.  Ruin the game.  Not because you are countering a bunch of things or locking everybody out.  No.  No that is child's play.  Commander deserves a better class of villain.  And you, my child... you can be that villain. 

Your opponent wants to play his commander?  Nope.
Your opponents want to cast a spell?  Nope
Your opponents want to cast cheap spells and dump his hand?  Nuh Uh.

And, of course, the greatest play of them all.  Through the Breach + Bearer of the Heavens. 

[mchalpin]

Funny stuff.  Like it.

[Sorin2]

Please I beg you do not play this deck

[Mostlynotgay]

Updated to make it Commander legal:
Braids, Cabal Minion replaced with Smokestack
Sundering Titan replaced with Eye of Singularity

Revision 5

Added/removed cards:
-1 Braids, Cabal Minion
-1 Sundering Titan
+1 Eye of Singularity
+1 Smokestack

[Judaspriester]

Please correct me if im wrong, but are you sure Child of Alara's effect works with her as Commander? Since you usually put your commander back into the command zone in stead of the graveyard, it doesn't die.
700.4. The term dies means “is put into a graveyard from the battlefield.”

Besides that.. nasty deck, good job.

[Mostlynotgay]

Please correct me if im wrong, but are you sure Child of Alara's effect works with her as Commander? Since you usually put your commander back into the command zone in stead of the graveyard, it doesn't die.
700.4. The term dies means “is put into a graveyard from the battlefield.”

Besides that.. nasty deck, good job.

So I wondered that too. It's a replacement effect that you choose. So in a pinch, you can let her hit the gy to board wipe. It makes your opponents pause before wrath of God or something because "creatures" turns into "everything"

[nickelphoenix]

This is the one you pull out to of the box to silence the hot shot sliver boys. Hmmm I smell salt. 😏😏

[Mostlynotgay]

This is the one you pull out to of the box to silence the hot shot sliver boys. Hmmm I smell salt. 😏😏

100% salt.

[Varatius]

Have you considered a more land destruction focused deck i mean with this deck once you get the mana rocks out you don't care about your own lands and usually win cuz your opponents hands just keep filling up with nothing to do.  Plus you can always use ramos to get 10 extra mana and the void winnower on the board makes people even more unhappy i mean they can't do most of the common wrath effects even if they somehow manage to deal with all the land destruction.  On top of that you can easily pump up your planeswalkers (my favorite is Ajani Vengeant, I have managed to pull off his ultimate twice in one game.)  The main goal of this deck is to win by playing hellkite tyrant.  That always pisses people off when you drop hellkite on a board of 20+ artifacts and make you super happy.  If you play against another deck that can handle land destruction you have plenty of removal.  Being able to clear all lands, creatures, or playing stuff on your opponents turns is always awesome with vedalken orrery and it basically gives creatures haste and allows you to take advantage of unused mana and not to mention protect your creatures that you need to get to on your turn.

https://deckstats.net/decks/117870/1120133-ramos-land-destruction

[Mostlynotgay]

Have you considered a more land destruction focused deck ...................

You know, I have a few modern land destruction decks that use Ajani.  They're pretty brutal.  But the deck you linked accomplishes some things that I'm not trying to accomplish with this deck, chief amongst which are (a) being a good deck, (b) working, (c) being coherent, and (d) probably winning. 

It misses the "point" of the deck. this deck isn't meant to be serious. or coherent. Or even really win.  It's just meant to completely ruin the game.  Absolutely, utterly ruin. 

[Varatius]

Fair enough you could always take some of the ideas from my deck and add them to yours to make it even more terrifying however

[Mostlynotgay]

Fair enough you could always take some of the ideas from my deck and add them to yours to make it even more terrifying however

Oh yeah, definitely.  I kind of like what you got going with Ramos.  he seems like he'd get up to 5 counters pretty quick, then you can just pop out whatever you are looking for. 

[Varatius]

Fair enough you could always take some of the ideas from my deck and add them to yours to make it even more terrifying however

Oh yeah, definitely.  I kind of like what you got going with Ramos.  he seems like he'd get up to 5 counters pretty quick, then you can just pop out whatever you are looking for.

The big issue with ramos is you only get the ramp 2-3 times a game but by that time you've won or are winning.