Petition to Change Red-Wyrm's Name

[Red_Wyrm]

This topic is already silly, so let's kick it up a notch. For the rest of this speech, imagine I'm talking like this guy.



I come before you now to address an issue. A serious issue that if left unchecked, will tear this forum site apart.

You may look at names like "Morganator 2.0" and "Red_Wyrm" and think, "These are just names". But they are more than mere names. They are what we choose to be called. When we made our account — be it last week or years ago — we chose the name that we want to be referred to as, instead of having a name assigned.

You may think this a small matter, but it represents the integrity of a forum site. There is no racism here, for we cannot see each other's race. There is no discrimination against sex or gender, for we cannot know these things through a monitor. The only thing we can be judged on is our words. Whether you want to known as the person who loves zombie-tribal, the rules lawyer or the stats master, you choose that this is how you want to be seen. And a name is part of that choice.

So I beseech thee, my fellow Deckstatisticians, it is not up to us to decide the name of another user. It is their choice, and theirs alone. If you wish to be Red_Wyrm, then Red_Wyrm you shall be!

Are you trying to take over my thread? Get your own damn thread. This is my baby.

And I dont know if you're making fun of me or not, so the fight is still on, in 2 minutes.

Whether you want to known as the person who loves zombie-tribal, the rules lawyer or the stats master, you choose that this is how you want to be seen. And a name is part of that choice.

Morg out here inserting his love of the stats of Deckstats in yet another comment. I see you.

Also Reddy boi, if ur getting genuinely angry with us, I for one will call you Red_Wyrm if that is what you prefer. I'm just teasing, baby.

Dont worry honey, you could never make me angry. Call me whatever as long as it's not divorced or widowed.

[WizardSpartan]

Dont worry honey, you could never make me angry. Call me whatever as long as it's not divorced or widowed.

[Aetherium Slinky]

You what with your name?

[Red_Wyrm]

You what with your name?

I've promoted myself to Morgantor 2.O and they're all jealous.

[Morganator 2.0]

I don't know who you think you are, trying to take my name.
But I think it's time I show you that this isn't a game.
I was trying to play it cool, not wanting to taunt.
But now you're gonna get that fight that you want.

I'm the boss of these forums, that you already know.
So let's get this fight on, I'm ready to go.
You think challenging me is tough? It's actually tragic.
You're about as good at this as you are at Magic.

I just don't quite get it. Why you showing me scorn?
Who was it that helped you fight off Elesh Norn?
I can't understand why you have all this resentment.
Wasn't I the one that taught you threat assessment?

I'm an expert at commander, from casual to competitive.
Giving advice, while not sounding repetitive.
It's for reasons like this that I'm the moderator.
While you're left behind, stuck being a hater.

I don't know why you bothered, I'm already the best.
You may have this thread, but I own the rest.
You're but a petty poser, you don't control these chats.
I know this for a fact, I can show you the stats.

I guess that I'm done here, so get back to class.
Show yourself again and I'll kick your ass.
You'll always need my help, so I'll be seeing you later.
Go and tell your friends not to mess with Morganator.

[Aetherium Slinky]

You'll always need my help, so I'll be seeing you later.
Go and tell your friends not to mess with Morganator.

You have accidentally revealed the correct pronunciation. Will the world end?

[WizardSpartan]

Morganator 2.0 to Morganator 2.O:




To the rest of us, sit back, click notify, and enjoy. This is gonna be good.


(Good luck babe)

[Red_Wyrm]

I am not one for fights, I don't like violence.
But for you, I can make an exception.
Someone better call an ambulance.
Maybe you'll be able to make it to the reception.

Morgy, my friend. You're too old for this. You're pushing forty.
But fine. Heads up, you'll need a lifeline.
You play with fire, you might just get burned. That's what happens when you mess with the Wyrm.
You're insulting my Magic? You're right that is kind of tragic.

[spoken without a beat] Hi. I'm Morganator 2.0. I regret my life choices so I make fun of college kids playing Magic.
[Back on the beat] I don't blame you. I know your condition can cause frustration, being sexually inactive.
So I won't hold you accountable, for the things you say in pain.
Though I hate to say it, your problem's insurmountable.
You seek a girlfriend, but little do you know you seek in vain.

You study forest fires?
You had better take notes.
I took over this whole ecosystems. Tossed it on the pyre.
Not to gloat, but I have a boyfriend, bitch, I fucking kissed him!

I don't control these chats? Check again, I run Deckstats!
Nils is my boy. You want anything from him? Ha, not even a toy.
This expert at commander needs to get off his high horse.
Never mind, I'll pull you down, by force, of course.

You may own all the other threads, but who loves a monopoly?
Morganator, I think it is time we redistribute your wealth properly.
I don't hate you, my friend, quite the opposite. I pity you.
Only success that you'll find true, is moderating these forums, since that's all you can do.

Your head is so far up your ass, how could you ever kick mine?
You're right I should get back, I have homework due in class.
But don't worry, Deckstats drama? I can make time for that.
Now get back to work, you sad little brat.

[WizardSpartan]

Gonna be honest, this battle is actually quality. Important stuff people.




(Fantastic comeback baby, you're doing great. Make our family proud )

[WWolfe]

[Morganator 2.0]

Red_Wyrm you're a tool.
You just can't rap, you should have stayed in school.
Time to show you that you're such a fool.
You're less popular than Jace, pure disgrace.
Gonna end this now so you know your place.

Singin'
I own, I own, Deckstats.
I own, I own, Deckstats.

Your skill is a myth.
You got no chance, you're not a deck smith.
I should list the cards to beat you with.
I'll get all the same: Karma and fame.
Everyone knows I'm the champ of this game.

Singin'
I own, I own, Deckstats. (Sing it!)
I own, I own, Deckstats. (Yeah!)


You're being a pain.
You've got no game, I must show you distain
Because you couldn't even beat Food Chain.
I like watching you squirm, but now I'll be firm.
Keep all this up and you'll be a dead_wyrm.


Singin'
I own, I own, Deckstats. (Yeah, yeah, come on.)
I own, I own, Deckstats. (Alright, louder.)
I own, I own, Deckstats. (One more time.)
I own, I own, Deckstats.

[WizardSpartan]

(In big announcer voice)

Round TWOOO

[Red_Wyrm]

Dead_Wyrm, good one.
Your name can't even make a pun.
What the fuck even is a Morganator 2.0?
The most pathetic of foes.

A little heads up,
You lost little pup,
You don't own Deckstats
You own, defeat, but not even the chats.

You own, you own, defeat. (Sing it)
You own, You own, defeat. (Yeah!)


Your chorus is weak. You're copying my lines?
I expect nothing less from a cheat. Watch and learn as I take this rap to the nines.
I got you promoted to moderator.
I told Nils, the administrator.


I think the two is your IQ,
Two more than I thought, who knew?
Stealing a beat? That belongs to Queen. You should be kneeling.
You're trying to be mean, but, pal, you just don't have the spleen.

You own, you own, defeat. (Sing it)
You own, You own, defeat. (Yeah!)

I write two lines to your one. Come on, bro.
So call me Red_Wyrm 2.0.
I'm undefeated against food chain.
What about you? I know it's caused you some pain.

I hate the kids that brag about honors classes.
I'm AP bitch, get on my level. I am beyond the masses.
What's the name of your degree? Honor's Biology?
Man, shut up. Go study some trees. I think you need a lecture on Epistemology.



Singin'
You own, You own, defeat. (Yeah, yeah, come on.)
You own, you own, defeat. (Alright, louder.)
You own, you own, defeat. (One more time.)
You own, you own, defeat.

[CleanBelwas]

Haha holy shit, I love you Morganator. In a platonic, neutral kind of way, of course.

You make a great and compelling point though.

And so I offer a question, aimed only at those who are happy to share and with no obligation for anyone to answer, why did you choose your username?

In the interest of never asking anything of anyone I would not be willing to do myself, I'll start.

So my buddy and I decided to read the A Song of Ice and Fire book series a few years back. In it, there is a character called Strong Belwas, who quickly became both of our favourite character. Unfortunately he never made it into A Game of Thrones, but we both thought he was hilarious. We started to make jokes about the whole Belwas family, and the notion that Belwas was the surname, and Momma and Pappa Belwas would just name them based on what they were good at. We then later came to realise that my actual real life name could be an anagram containing Belwas. We looked at the rest of the letters available and I've been CleanBelwas ever since.

Again, I'd like to stress that no one is obliged to share their reasoning if they don't want to for any reason at all. Just thought it might be a nice anecdotal insight into our friends online for those who are willing.

[WizardSpartan]

Haha holy shit, I love you Red_Wyrm. In a nonplatonic, romantic way, of course.

WizardSpartan has been my longstanding username for pretty much everything. When I got on here, though, I was a big fan of Golgari and decided to change it up. Fast forward to now, I don't really have any G/B decks (although I would like to build one, considering I have staples such as Assassin's Trophy, Overgrown Tomb, and Abrupt Decay). I like a lot of color combiantions, so I'm just going with my longstanding one. Why it is, I honestly don't remember. I remember getting a Minecraft account and being forced to choose a username, so I went with 2 cool "groups," Wizards and Spartans. I remember adding on 300 to make it WizardSpartan because of The Battle of Thermopylae and because just WizardSpartan wasn't available. Sorta sad backstory, tho. Most everybody I meet has a much better backstory than just "oh I like this username hur hur". I'm especially excited to hear Red_Wyrm's and Morganator's names, though. I can tell there's definitely something there.