It's Insane, This Guy's Taint (Casual)

Designed entirely around Tainted Remedy, this deck aims to get the Remedy on the board and then heal the everloving crap out of the opponent for massive damage. If your opponent manages to keep Tainted Remedy off the battlefield you're gonna have a bad time. It's just for funsies.

Alchemist's Gift and Mortal's Ardor both have the ability to give an opponent's critters lifelink at a moment's notice, discouraging (or punishing) attacks. Healing Salve, Blessed Alliance, Devour Flesh, Hope Charm, and Heliod's Intervention all offer the ability to heal yourself or your opponent (the latter of which functions almost like direct damage with the Tainted Remedy in play) but also have useful additional/alternative effects. Congregate and Life Burst offer massive healing of a target player, with Life Burst providing 40 total healing/life loss for 8 mana if you get them all off in one game. This deck doesn't have much of a response to an opponent throwing out a massive number of creatures, but Congregate will finish off a player at full health with 10 creatures and a Tainted Remedy on the board, so it could be an excellent finisher. If you see something like this coming, it may be best to use your other healing spells to keep yourself alive until it's time to strike.

Vizkopa Guildmage gives you the ability to use other healing cards on yourself while STILL dealing damage to your opponent, and also has the ability to give creatures lifelink in a pinch. Laquatus's Champion's regenerate ability is likely to go unused in favor of letting it die and deal an additional 6 damage to your opponent, but if they try to get tricksy and remove the remedy before killing him it might come in handy. Heliod, Sun-Crowned is mostly there for his lifelink ability and to pump other creatures, since it's unlikely you'll have five white devotion at any point. Grollub punishes the opponent for blocking him with creatures with power great enough to kill him. Wall of Shards, aside from being a solid defender, will do increasing amounts of damage to your opponent just by virtue of being on the board, and you can choose to sacrifice it rather than pay its upkeep if you start a turn without a Tainted Remedy in effect. There's probably a better 1-drop for this deck than Gingerbrute, but I like it.

Beseech the Queen is mostly intended as an insurance policy if you need to get a Remedy in your hand fast, but can be used to tutor any card that you'd have the mana to cast.

This deck could probably use quite a bit of tuning. There's almost no creature removal despite the fact that nearly half of its mana symbols are black.

The name is a reference to an episode of Mr. Show with Bob and David.