Picnic (Golgari Squirrel, Artifact Infinite Turns) (Modern) [Revision 32]

**I checked, Venom Connoisseur is legal in Modern

~Strategy: Create artifact tokens and generate squirrels off of those. Win with squirrels (a lot, big, and/or imbued with deathtouch) or infinite turns.~

This deck is broken and flexible, though it really doesn't look like it at first.

Go watch that scene from Shrek 2 when Snow White helped the princesses invade the castle, and that gives you an excellent idea of how this deck plays - it's a bit slow to start, and looks really innocent at first, until it pops off and goes out of control disgustingly fast. I'm finding that it doesn't look like much to other people until they see it getting played >XD

Witch's Oven and Cauldron familiar are the main food engine, and Gilded Goose, Cauldron Familiar and Ravenous Squirrel (gets 2 +1/+1 counters for every cat oven cycle) provide the same role plus a few extra features. We ideally want either a cat/oven combo and/or a couple of 1 drop spells + Trail of Crumbs and 2-3 lands in the first hand so that we can get our food production, sacrificing, and draw mechanic beginning asap with the goal of playing Chatterfang, Squirrel General next to turn Food production into squirrels. Then with Academy Manufactor (ideally a couple), turn each Food token into Clue and Treasure tokens, then Chatterfang creates squirrels off of those tokens. Buff them up with Chitterspitter for an army of very big, hungry squirrels, or sacrifice them to Witch's Oven for 2 Food tokens at once, once they reach 4/4 for even more fuel for the engine
Trail of Crumbs works off of all the food sacrificing that this deck does to scry and draw through a third + of the deck in no time, fishing out the best cards asap
Tamiyo's Journal is just broken in this deck, and can provide whatever card you need most, frequently the turn that it's played (and you don't have to show the tutored card, which throws the opponent through a loop after getting to see the crumb cards from before)
Time Sieve allows a win condition of actual infinite turns if you can get to the point of being able to consistently generate 6 artifact tokens (Food, Clue, and Treasure) a turn, which is reliably achieved, and most easily accomplished with a minimum of 1 Academy Manufactor and a total of 2 of Cauldron Familiar/Chitterspitter+Witch's Oven and/or Gilded Goose on the board; pay for the island with a treasure token or with the second ability of Gilded Goose.
Bone Shards is best used mid-late game when you either have Cauldron Familiar/extra squirrel tokens to sac, or an extra Chatterfang, etc. in your hand.
Save Second Harvest until the last second for your side of the board to become nightmarish (see second formula below)

WATCH YOUR SIDE OF THE BATTLEFIELD BECOME FLOODED WITH TOKENS MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Reliably wins in turns 5-10, even with key pieces being removed

4 copies are the cards I want in my beginning hand, + 3 lands, ideally.
3 copies are the cards I want to draw immediately after
2 copies are the cards I need mid-late game
The synergy of this deck is amazing
*Made 90 squirrels on turn 6 with 30 each of Food, Clue and Treasure tokens recently.

Absolutely my favorite deck
Please feel free to try it yourself - it's a lot of fun to watch and play and can be played at and against a wide range of skill levels and strategies.

For Legacy: Spidersilk Armor
Flavor Wishlist: Vraska, Golgari Queen
Haven't used the sideboard yet

Flavortext of the deck: "Net Gains"

If it helps, think of it like setting up an economy and civilization where you're both king and banker. It's glorious.

~FORMULA FOR Academy Manufactor: 
Number of tokens initially created to trigger ability = T
Number of manufactors under your control = m
                T x 3^m

Total result equals number of squirrels created by Chatterfang, Squirrel General
Divide total by 3 to get number of each type of artifact token created

~FORMULA FOR Second Harvest with Chatterfang, Squirrel General and Academy Manufactor
Number of tokens initially created to trigger ability = T
Number of manufactors under your control = m
Number of squirrel tokens initially created as Second Harvest resolves = S
                T x 3^m + S 

Total result equals number of squirrels created as a result of the spell and abilities resolving completely with no interference