First time post - first time deck

[Wesley1978]

Hi, hereby my first deck ever - it's made from cards I own. Starting point was a Nicol Bolas planewalker Duel deck - I tried to improve on it. Did I get it right?

Here's the link:
http://deckstats.net/decks/65337/491310-wesone

[Philippe Saner]

I don't think removing lands to put in such expensive cards was the best idea. A deck with only 21 lands, one of which doesn't even make mana, is going to have a very hard time casting those Myojin.

[G. Moto]

   If you're going to even consider playing bolas in your deck then there are 3 things you need to keep in mind:

1) Balance your mana so that you are always drawing into the colors that you need.

2) Always have ways to punish your opponent and take away from their resources. This is how Bolas works best and can manipulate the opposing player.

3) Even if you're playing black or similar colors, you don't have to hurt yourself in order to gain an advantage over your opponent.

[Wesley1978]

Thx for the responses so far!

I was afraid the mana sources wouldn't be sufficient, so ...

http://deckstats.net/decks/65337/491310-westwo/en

Removed 5 cards, added 2 swamp, 1 island, Temple of the false God and Obelisk of Grixis

[G. Moto]

   IT seems to have improved a bit. There are some cards you may want to consider removing for the sake of the deck:
1) All is dust - destroys all COLORED permanents. That means your planeswalkers AND you creatures would hit the grave (but not your lands).

2) Chandra Nalaar - if you swap her out for Chandra ablaze then you can get more use out of the red spells that you draw and she can actually help trigger madness costs. For example, play Chandra ablaze with fiery temper and you can deal up to 7 points of damage!

3) Dragon throne of Tarkir - if you don't play a lot of strong creatures it's not worth it. However, if you come across more consuming aberration then it will create a dangerous combo for any one to play against.

4) Myojin of infinite rage - I wouldn't recommend this card. Destroying your mana base is not worth having an indestructible creature. You'd be better off with having zombies or creatures that keep coming back from the grave than putting a nuke into your field.

    The rest of your creatures and other cards please add at least 2-3 copies of them all in any variation that you see fit. Reason being is that it'll help your deck's consistency and you'll be able to play more of your combos more often. Also decide whether you want to mill them and feed your aberration or exile their graveyard. I'm seeing that the deck can swing both ways but it'll be more consistent for you if you choose one. This way your deck does not conflict with itself.

[Wesley1978]

So ...

I played a game with my deck with devasting results. Devasting for me that is ....

It needed to be a lot faster, more simular cards, more ...

This is a - hopefully - improved version. I made some changes in the mana-base, added low-cost-cards, added some surprise cards and combo's

Any thoughts?

http://deckstats.net/decks/65337/500600-westwo

[G. Moto]

   I'm looking at your mana curve and it is sky high in certain areas more than it should be. Also half of your deck is spells while there are only 21 lands in the entire deck. You've got good spells but you need to work on balancing the deck's costs and its strengths. For example, you have 15 spells that cost 5+ mana just to cast them. That's a pretty steep price when you only run 4 counter spells in this entire deck. If you're going to play that many high drops then you need enough low drop creatures to maintain your board state and enough cheap mana outlets for you to produce all the mana just to play your more expensive costing cards to cast. I'm not trying to beat up your deck too much but from an enemy stand point, there are a lot of areas that can be exploited in your deck. Here are a few so that you might find ways to address them:

1) You're only running 7 creatures. 1 mills and 2 make goblin tokens. The vampire shaman and the agent of fate are worth keeping because their effects can be useful. The creatures in this deck need to work with each other well rather than just functioning alongside each other in the same deck.

2) Your spells cost too much. Even the artifact that makes multiple colors costs a lot to play. I understand that the spells do manipulate the opponent to some degree but when playing Grixis, with the cards that you have you'd probably want to play even MORE counter spells. The less your opponent can do to you while you're building up mana the better.

3) You have more non-basic lands that enter tapped than you do basic lands in the entire deck. Having a mana base such as this, even if it gives you health, slows down the deck very much.

     Once again, I'm not trying to be hard on you and there's nothing wrong that you did with your deck. But if you're going to play high costing cards then you need to be able to play them and have the mana to do so successfully. Do you kinda understand where I'm going with this?

[Wesley1978]

Thx for the repley. And I would an idiot not to appreciate the advice of an expert - all your point are valid.

I didn't consider the effects of lands that enter tapped. Back to the drawing boards!

Again, thx!

btw, I do try to write correct english, but it ain't my native tongue

[Wesley1978]

So,

Taking into account the previous suggestions:

http://deckstats.net/decks/65337/500923-westhree

Take 3

[G. Moto]

   This looks a lot better. If you can get your hands on some more copies of pyre hound, hound of griselbrand, agent of the fates and take out the goblins then you should be good on creatures.
   Spells I would recommend cards such as psychic strike, countermand, anticipate, negate, dispel and more countersquall. This way you'll have the control element your deck needs and it'll help grow your pyre hound.
   The land base looks a bit better. You might want to add more basic lands to speed up the playing of your cards.
 Besides all of these the deck looks much improved. Try play testing a few times and let me know what you come up with.

    Also don't worry about grammar with me, I'm not that much of a stickler for proper spellings if it's not your  native language. As long as I can understand the message I'm good.

[Wesley1978]

Made some additional changes...

Let's a new real-life game with this one 

http://deckstats.net/decks/65337/500923-grixis-nicol-bolas

Thx for all the tips and much appreciated lessons in deck-building!

[G. Moto]

   This deck is much improved, I am VERY proud of the progress you have made. If you happen to come across any fiery temper, lightning axe, or other low cost burn spells then they'd also make great additions to the deck. Good job on adding the counter spells. Now go out there and win you some games, I'll be eagerly waiting to hear of your victories.