Have you thought about submitting this to mtggoldfish.com @ Playing Pauper? If Jake likes and plays it, I am sure he would have some nice ideas how to improve on it. I actually think it could be quite strong. The black/white mimic deck had the disadvantage that the creatures were quite weak, and the extort mechanic quite slow, but this deck is faster! I am going to try it out on MTGO, and see how I like it. My measure of success for a deck is always the same: is it able to win 1 out of three matches consistently against mono black control :-)