Karonavirus

[UrizenII]

This deck is something I've toyed around with for a few years (long before the pandemic).  It really took the Impetus cycle and other Goad effects to be viable.  It's effectively a hybrid between pillow fort enchantress and Assault Suit Zurgo Helmsmasher: enchant Karona, make sure she can't attack you, then watch as the other players kill themselves with your commander.

I'm constantly trying to fine-tune it and keep running into the same primary problem: I effectively need nine mana to cast Karona and attach either an Impetus or Vow Aura to her so that I don't immediately die to my own commander, so the deck is incredibly slow.  I've looked at changing the land base to include basics and then running traditional ramp spells like Cultivate, but it really doesn't help speed the deck up all that much.  Second problem is Karona simply getting removed.  Since she gives control of herself to other people, things that give a creature Hexproof do not prevent her current controller from targeting her.  Canopy Cover and Shielding Plax are the only cards of which I'm aware that outright say your opponents can't target the creature, regardless of controller.  Card draw is hit or miss as well: there are only 10(ish) sources in the deck, and several rely on casting enchantments, but a significant portion of the enchantments in the deck are ones that I want to save to cast on Karona.  If I had an Argothian Enchantress or a Rhystic Study, I'd for sure find a way to cram them into the deck.  As it is, they are $40 cards and I do not own either.

Recently, I added a number of the "Enchant land" auras that serve as ramp to help with this - in addition to some other minor tweaks - but now I need to make cuts to get back down to 100 cards.  There are a few on which I'd like a second opinion.  Any other ideas or advice beyond that is welcome.

Prismatic Geoscope - Cons: Five mana for a rock that comes in tapped and can end up doing literally nothing without the right lands.  Pros: Half of my lands have two or more types, I run Prismatic Omen and Dryad of the Ilysian Grove, and I have ways of tutoring for the triple-typed lands.  If this comes down enabled before turn six, it really gives me the gas I need to get Karona going.  Even if it comes down after, being able to tap a single thing for five mana is great if Karona gets killed.
Slimefoot's Survey - Cons: Basically five mana for Explosive Vegetation.  Pros: Tutor up two triomes and you also effectively scry five, plus you guarantee Geoscope and Collective Restraint are fully turned on.
Mazzy, Truesword Paladin - Pros: Serves as a way to give Karona some evasion and also gives some amount of protection to any Auras on her; considering Hall of Heliod's Generosity is the only recursion in the deck, if I can't cast them again and they stay exiled, it's not the end of the world.  Cons: Really doesn't do anything else by herself.
Privileged Position - Pros: Additional protection for my enchantments, which are core to the success of the deck.  Cons: This plus Sterling Grove makes it nearly impossible to interact with your board, which is not fun for anyone else and makes you a bigger target than you already might be.
Sovereigns of Lost Alara and Zur the Enchanter: Pros: serve as ways to cheat out enchantments onto Karona without needing to cast them (potentially saving three mana off the aforementioned nine if they hit the field before her). Zur can also fetch card draw, a little ramp, and some of the pillows.  Cons: I guess if they are both on the field at the same time, one is basically useless.

Holy Avenger, Errantry, and Umezawa's Jitte are currently not in the deck but are all interesting tech cards.  They didn't feel impactful enough, so I removed them.  Cards like Ethereal Armor would be good, but I do not have room in the deck for an effect that is only a straight buff.  Please forgive the massive maybeboard.  I tend to leave unused cards there for potential future reference as opposed to just cutting them outright.

https://deckstats.net/decks/115144/1156982-karonavirus-karona-false-god-e

[AlltheTokens]

I love the theme of locking yourself in your house while your opponents pass around the virus.

[Gatekeeper-6]

Funny Theme,
 look for Crop Rotation
  https://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=489834&type=card
  and Homeward Path
https://gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=420918&type=card

[UrizenII]

I love the theme of locking yourself in your house while your opponents pass around the virus.

Thanks!  I had the idea for the deck long before the pandemic, so I thoroughly enjoy the irony of the deck.

Funny Theme,
 look for Crop Rotation
  and Homeward Path

I'd forgotten about Homeward Path.  That would prevent Karona from coming at me and eliminate some need to enchant her the same turn she comes in.  Probably would have to cut Axgard Armory for it; I used to run more equipment in the deck, but now Assault Suit is the only one, so it's now just four mana and sacking a land to tutor for a single Aura.  Crop Rotation helps with fixing the land types, but doesn't solve the ramp problem since I have to sack a land.  I'd considered it, but it ultimately didn't make the cut.

[Rose the Budget Queen]

To add even more fun, keep in mind that all background cards say Commanders you own not just control. So maybe add in some backgrounds in addition to the other ways of keeping her from killing you and let the sparks really fly.

Also, Moon-Blessed Cleric is another enchantment tutor that can grab your vows, should you need more of that.

[hollaz90]

God I love this Deck... I'm always wondering how to build around Karona.
Onslaught Cycle simply the best <3

[AlltheTokens]

This is a straight forward enough deck that giving your opponents knowledge shouldn’t be too much of a problem.  I would run Oracle of Mul Daya and maybe augur of autumn or courser of kruphix.  the ability to play lands from the library can be huge.  You are also running enough shock lands that I would look for ramp spells that target forests like nature’s lore, skyshroud claim, three visits, wood elves, etc.

[Elan Morin Tedronai]

Outside of the "super phun thyme": I had several illnesses of COVID-19 with (and without) the vaccine.

[UrizenII]

To add even more fun, keep in mind that all background cards say Commanders you own not just control. So maybe add in some backgrounds in addition to the other ways of keeping her from killing you and let the sparks really fly.

Also, Moon-Blessed Cleric is another enchantment tutor that can grab your vows, should you need more of that.

It's a great idea; I've seen Karona done with the backgrounds, and it certainly is entertaining.  Unfortunately, many of them either just don't fit with the deck (Clan Crafter, for instance) or can benefit opponents (e.g. Dragon Cultist).  Cultist of the Absolute is great because the sacrifice trigger basically never happens, so it's +3/+3, flying, and deathtouch for only one mana, and Flaming Fist is quite good too.  I had those two in at one point, but just couldn't find room for them in the deck.  Cleric would be OK.  Heliod's Pilgrim also tutors to hand but is limited to only Auras.  Idyllic Tutor also puts any enchantment in had, minus the body.

This is a straight forward enough deck that giving your opponents knowledge shouldn’t be too much of a problem.  I would run Oracle of Mul Daya and maybe augur of autumn or courser of kruphix.  the ability to play lands from the library can be huge.  You are also running enough shock lands that I would look for ramp spells that target forests like nature’s lore, skyshroud claim, three visits, wood elves, etc.

I should probably throw in Three Visits and Nature's Lore, but I don't know what I can afford to cut to make room; the current list is already four cards over.  Best case I swap out something like Spoils of Victory for one of them.  I did also consider Oracle, Augur, and Courser, especially because I'm already running Exploration and Burgeoning, but again I couldn't find a way to fit them in.

Outside of the "super phun thyme": I had several illnesses of COVID-19 with (and without) the vaccine.

Pretty sure I had it myself once not too long ago.  Bad fever and chills for three days, then it turned into a cold for roughly a week.  It certainly was not fun and might have been serious had my fever lasted any longer than it did.